Not much new / Blindness

Well... I might as well have crawled under a rock for the past 2 weeks. All in all, I couldn't work with Misty because it was raining for the last two weekends. I didn't ride much either.

We did ride on August 14... (I know, long time ago!!). We did a 2.5 hour ride with Dandy and Pearl. The only thing I guess I could point out is that Dandy's blindness issue isn't getting better.

I took her out on a ride that day. It was kind of sunny and clouding over. We took a bike path up to a bridge and accross a river, where I met friends for a quick chat. On our way to the bridge, we decided to canter a good part of the way, the horses were warmed up, we had been riding for about 30-40 minutes at a quick walk. So we decided to canter and all was going well, Pearl was beside Dandy, which always gives Dandy some confidence. All of a sudden the sun peeks out and trees cast a shadow on the ground, Dandy sees one particular shadow and slams on the brakes. So I went from a nice quick galop to a stop in 0.5 seconds... thankfully I didn't fall off and wasn't ejected. Dandy has a great habit of tucking her butt under when she slams on the brakes (If only I could get her to do it on command! Sigh!). I stayed on and as soon as she was completely stopped, she took off at a galop again. I guess she realized that it was only a shadow and that there was no need stopping... Thank goodness I wasn't unseated! She spooked at a fallen tree, brand new pavement and that tree shadow. Dandy never spooked at anything inanimate before and I got really sad seeing that she was at that point. Still we made it accross a huge wooden bridge and she never batted an ear even though I was a nervous wreck while crossing.

You see, when I was about 12 years old, we took our first pony for a ride outside of the pasture, we took that same path (which wasn't a bike path at the time), we'd had to cross a wooden bridge smaller in size and it looked a bit risky... instead of turning back, we tryed to cross it (don't scold the child mind, we got scolded enough for it, plus we had learned our lesson). At the very end, one of our pony's back legs broke through the bridge. After much panic and terror, the horse finally got back to its feet. Fortunately, she only had a scrape on the leg, but I was left scarred forever. We walked the whole way back home in case the horse had an underlying leg problem as a result... we had a walk that is equal to a 15 minute car ride. I never liked wooden bridges after that. The one we had to cross this time was way bigger, higher up and longer... a lot longer. As soon as I heard Dandy's hoof hit the wood, my heart hit the floor and I was a complete can of nuts until we reached the other end. I guess this is what you call post-traumatic stress. Anyways, my biggest fear was that Dandy would spook and fall off of the bridge. The bridge is an old railroad track bridge and was revamped with high railings and a brand new 3 inch thick floor... But the mind is stronger than that. We made it to the other side and I guess everyone felt the tension dissapear. I gave huge praise to Dandy for actually taking care of me as if I was a newborn child crying. She always outdid herself when I was a total nervous wreck, she seems to feed on that, she knows what she has to do... I'm glad that she completely ignored my fear and forged on to the other side, never putting a hoof out of line. WHEW!

Pearl crossed the bridge fine too. I was better about my emotions on the way back.... confidence gain??? I think so! Thank you Dandy again. Anyways, on the way back, we borrowed a new trail, it was rough and Dandy tripped a lot... I guess she couldn't see the bumps in front of her... maybe she was tired, but I know her vision is fading. I wish I could find a place where they do surgery. If I ever do, I will immediately ask that they evaluate Dandy and give it a shot. Sure, it's expensive, but Dandy is worth much more than that to me. If surgery is not available to her... I will eventually retire her to working only on flat ground, no trails. If that doesn't work, I will retire her completely. If I see that she is unhappy, i.e. running into things, not finding food or water sources, getting hurt somewhere... well... I will have to make the heart wrenching decision to put her down. I am not looking forward to that day, but I am aware that it might happen... just like she might do great without sight and be happy well into old age. I have to prepare for every scenario, but the grim one makes me want to cry like a baby. Just thinking about it makes my eyes water.

If ever she goes, I will lose my best friend... the one that understands me the most, the one that absolutely loves me and shows it... the one that is greatful to see me and is very happy to work with me. We've been through a lot of things together and she has always been there for me. I was always there when she needed me and we understand each other very well. I would be losing my partner, my horsey soulmate.

I hope this day never comes... I know she will pass one day, but she is very young and I hope she has many good days ahead of her. I will keep assessing her blindness... right now... she can trail ride but I don't like putting her in hard trails... she can still canter on the flat, she even does schooling very nicely, so she is not done working completely and might always stay this way.

I know it will never get better, unless I could find a place where they could do surgery. I am 99% shure she has cataracts... the surgery is similar to the human one. I will look for a place close to my home, but I have never heard of one yet. :(

Wish me luck!